Adventuroo.com

A Raleigh, North Carolina mom capturing the everyday

The Time I Went All Mama Bear on a Redneck at a Gas Station

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If you’ve ever met me, you’d probably describe me as pretty laid back. Heck, you can probably that tell from my blog posts.

So when I tell you I got out my Mama Bear claws at a gas station on the way to Bloggy Boot Camp, you’ll probably be surprised.

I know I was.

But that’s what happens when people mess with your kids.

It Started with Puke

Just like so many other mommy moments, it started with a bodily function. Big Roo sometimes gets sick on roadtrips. I didn’t really think about it too much until this incident, but he actually gets sick every two or three roadtrips. He starts complaining of a tummy ache, then it turns to puking.

This time, we were about two hours into our four hour trip when it happened. As he threw up, I unconsciously extended my hand to the backseat to catch it. Um, ewwww? Looking around for a bag of some sort, I grabbed our paper Chick Fil A bag still full with empty boxes from our lunch. He puked while I held in. Daddy Roo looked for a place to pull off.

About the exact time, he pulled into a gas station, I noticed my jeans were sorta wet. And in my best Valley girl voice I said, “Oh My Gah… it’s dripping on my legs!”

Yes, puke dripped through the bag. It was lovely.

I ran and threw it away quickly, then grabbed Big Roo’s pink bear Burt and a fresh pair of jeans for both of us. We trotted off to the gas station restroom, which had just one stall per gender.

That little detail started all the trouble.

Pretty much as soon as we walked into the restroom and locked the door, someone shook the door. No big deal. Just checking to see if anyone was in there.

First, I washed Burt off and sat him on the sink. Then, I got the “extra bits” off our pants and we both changed into new ones. I went to the bathroom so we wouldn’t have to stop again too. All of that took about five minutes.

As I was gathering the pile of pukey pants, the door shook again and I heard rumbling on the other side.

And So It Begins

I swung open the door to a redneck lady impatiently waiting for her turn. Normally I would have just walked by her… or even apologized for taking so long.

But I tell you the look on her face just did me in. Mama Bear claws came OUT!

“My kid was puking! What was I SUPPOSED TO DO?” I snapped, holding up the pukey pants for full effect. I mean, isn’t it obvious something went down when you walk out of a public restroom with a preschooler while holding a pile of jeans in your hands? Apparently not.

It didn’t even phase her. She retorted something to the effect of “Well I REALLY had to go!” And then brushed past me to get into the restroom.

I can’t remember what I said next but oh boy I sure wasn’t done. I turned around while my Mama Bear mouth continued on at her.

And then. And then…

And Then It Got Worse

Kinda like in slow mo, as I was turning around and she was shutting the door, I stopped dead. I noticed Burt sitting on the sink. Yes, the same lovey that we almost lost at Toys R Us two years ago.

“My son’s bea–”

The redneck lady shut the door in my face AS I WAS REACHING TOWARD it. I guess I figured I could hold the door a sec while she threw me the bear that was just one foot away from her.

Instead, I hear the deadbolt go CLICK and she shouts, “YOU CAN WAIT TWO MINUTES!”

This seriously isn’t happening.

At this point, my Mama Bear fierceness fled.

I just started crying. Poor Big Roo just held my hand and stared at me with concern. I touched the top of his said and assured him it was okay.

Waiting for the men’s restroom, a boy about eight years old stood there staring at me for a second before he said, “I’m sorry about my mom. She’s been holding it for a while.”

Now that’s just a sad story. A poor kid having to apologize for his bitchy redneck mom. I had to pity him because I’m sure his home life isn’t that grand.

A couple of minutes later, redneck lady opens the door. She sees me crying which I think phased her for about a millisecond. Then she did the I’m-still-gonna-be-angry-so-I-show-I’m-not-weak move and got all snarky.

“I SAID it’d just be a couple of minutes,” she snarked.

Yeah, a couple of minutes so you could confront me again and so I had to stand there with pukey pants and a confused child. That’s some two minutes.

She left. We grabbed Burt and walked to the car.

I had to go back in and grab some bags from the cashier in case Big Roo got sick again.

It made me feel a little better that the cashier apologized for what happened (even though she didn’t have to since she can’t really control CRAZY REDNECKS). She told me that someone told her what happened and if she’d had known, she’d have asked the lady to leave.

I’m not sure if there’s any lesson to this story. Motherhood has made me bolder for sure. It’s pretty much a requirement to stick up for our kids when crazy rednecks go off on you at gas stations.

I’m quite sure I’ll see my Mama Bear claws again.

Comments

  2. You go, girl! And, no, those Mama Bear claws DON’T disappear as your kids grow up. When my son got carjacked at the age of 18 in our neighborhood Target parking lot (he was fine, car was fine, just lost $20 and a lot of naivete) after we talked to the police I drove around town scouring local parking lots for this person. I was a Mama Bear on the hunt!

  3. NO one messes with my clan, that’s for SURE! But seriously, what kind of woman, who is obviously a Mom, can’t feel sympathy for another Mom having to clean puke off of her son’s clothes? Lots of kids get carsick… this is not such an unusual situation. So what’s with the nasty?

  4. Agreeing with you: yes, you can be sure, those Mama Bear claws and teeth will be unleashed again.

    But if we aren’t their advocates, who will be?

    I try to remind myself that as much as I adore my kids, that’s how God feels about ALL His kids, even the mean ones. But, I bet He wishes they’d behave themselves a little better, sometimes.

  5. I was eagerly anticipating the story after seeing your tweets about it. OMG, WTF? Good for you for going Momma Bear on her. And clearly, you were just taking your oh-so-sweet time in the deluxe gas station bathroom, which are known for being spa-like in decor and amenities. Come on.

  6. Yeah, I would have been the one screaming from the other side of the door, “Give me my F’ing bear!” Okay. Maybe not with kids nearby. But I totally would have said it in my head.

    Crazy rednecks.

  7. UGH. I feel you girl. I nearly bit some lady’s head off the other week at a local fair. I let my little man walk as we were on our way over to the petting zoo area. This nasty lady sees us coming and proceeds to drop her massive handbag off her shoulder and into the face of my little Handsome. I yelled at her “Excuse YOU” and she said, “Well watch where he’s going.” I gave Handsome’s hand to Daddy and I told her how dare she hit a child with her tacky plether bag and then tell me to watch where he’s going. I was so mad I almost forgot that I’m an educated woman and practically went all Jerry Springer on her ass. You’re SO right on the mama bear claws coming out again. Nobody messes with MY baby!

  10. You should have kept rattling the doorknob and knocking the whole time she was in there. What a b!tch! Good for you sticking up for your kid. I feel bad for her kid.

  13. You go Melissa! I did something similar when a lady blew me off at the mall play area when I told her about her kids pushing and hitting my kids and other kids. I didn’t know I had it in me but I guess when the kids are involved the mama bear in all of us comes out.

  14. Geez! Two hours in probably puts you in my neck of the woods which is LOADED with crazy rednecks! I would have went all mama bear on her too! That is awful! I hope her 8 year old pukes on her the next time they are in the car!

  18. What really made me sad was the little kid apologized for his mom. I bet that mom ain’t no Mamma Bear for her kids. Just herself.

  20. You go girl!.. I know that my “mama-bear’ mode is so scary that people have backed up and run away.. my husband says there is a look that comes to my eyes that makes him sure I would have not one iota of hesitation at killing someone who was hurting my child.. and I think he is right. When it happens it is totally primal, and NOT something to be messed with! Growl! 🙂

    Maddie

  21. Good for you!! I hate stupid people, and up until now I’m usually the one just rolling my eyes at them and brushing past like it’s no big deal. But now, if someone dares go after D, or anything to do with her for that matter, and I’m in earshot, you bet your ass they’re gonna dance with whatever Mama Bear I can find in me.

  22. I had a it out with a lady today because I was sitting outside the car while Barrett wailed away during a tantrum. I refuse to get in the car while she is throwing a fit and waited until she was finished. This lady looked at me and said, “Is that you baby you left in the car crying? Why are you just sitting there?” I told her she was throwing a fit and was in pseudo time out. Well, this lady, who looked like she was 25 and obviously had no kids had the audacity to huff and roll her eyes at me. Oh HELL no! “I stood up and said, would you like to get in the car with her while she is throwing a fit and tossing her shoes at your head? Would you rather me be driving and maybe have and accident while this tantrum was going on? NO. So mind your own business!” I was such a bitch, but she caught me on the wrong day and at the wrong moment. This was Barrett’s 3rd or 4th tantrum of the morning and I just pulled over to wait it out. Felt good to put her in her place, but takes SO much energy for me to be bitchy like that that it only happened once in a while. Mama Bears Unite!

  23. But if we aren’t their advocates, who will be? Oh HELL no! I nearly bit some lady’s head off the other week at a local fair.