I didn’t lose it until he did.
Last Thursday was Big Roo’s last day of preschool. He was really excited about graduation but a few times he casually lamented that he didn’t want preschool to end and he wanted to see his friends.
That morning when I dropped him off, I got a little teary but quickly brushed it away. I figured there would be plenty of room for tears during the graduation ceremony.
Yet, I watched him sing and do sign language and again the eyes filled up but no hard sobs. I think it was partly due to the fact that I was trying to watch Big Roo while simultaneously tag teaming the Little-Roo-wrangling, trying to keep him from squealing, breaking my camera or crawling (yes, CRAWLING) down the aisle.
During the ceremony, Big Roo got so excited when he saw us in the crowd though. And again. And again. He also elicited a small chuckle from the crowd when he started picking his nose. That’s my boy!
Afterwards, we got cookies, took pictures and went home. Everything was pretty normal, even bedtime. He was excited to read his new kids’ Bible and we read a Kindergarten book too. I tucked him in and headed downstairs to make them lunch.
I kept hearing sounds coming from upstairs. First, I thought he was playing in his room. Then I was like, maybe he’s just making strange voices.
All of a sudden it hit me.
My little man was crying. Not crying because he didn’t get dessert or because he has to share his toys, but genuine, broken-hearted crying.
And finally, I cried as he did.
I scooped him up like a mama bird and hugged him tightly.
“I wanna stay at preschool,” he told me.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” I said.
I told him about Tutee and Abuelito (his grandparents) moving us from Tennessee to South Carolina when I was young. And how I was scared and left my friends and didn’t know anyone… but that I got through it and make new friends.
“Things change but you can still see your friends from preschool too.”
I told him all the exciting things he’d get to do this summer, like going to Costa Rica to see a volcano, fly on a plane and get to visit a rain forest with lots of animals and butterflies. He squealed, “ I get to visit a REEEAL rain forest? I’ve never been to a real rain forest before.”
He tilted his chin, shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
Then out of the blue he asked me “Do you go to college when you’re 10?”
I said, “No it’s more like 18.”
He laughed and said “I kneewwwww that. My friends told me it was 11 and I knew that wasn’t right.”
After some hugs and kisses I tucked him in and he fell asleep.
And that was our graduation evening.
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